


The Mystery of the Underworld

by VigorousSpring



Category: Night at the Museum (2006 2009)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-03-23 06:30:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3757975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigorousSpring/pseuds/VigorousSpring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahkmenrah, Lancelot and Trixie are currently at the American Museum of Natural History, accompanied by the night guard Tilly. This time it isn't the tablet that's the problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This will be the longest note, I just like mentioning things at the start of a story. It's not necessary that you read it though, feel free to skip ahead. I just thought it would be worth mentioning that this will contain some OCs which are important but don't steal away focus from canon characters. This is just because there were no canon characters I could really make do this. 
> 
> I'm also writing an original story based in Egypt about the Underworld so this is basically me seeing if I can actually do it. 
> 
> I'm also attempting to explain some things that people often ask about Night at the Museum like 'why doesn't Rexy 'regenerate' in the same way Ahkmenrah does?', 'why do they turn to dust if outside the museum when the sun rises?' and 'why does the tablet bring museum exhibits to life anyway?'

Disclaimer: I don't now, nor have I ever, owned Night at the Museum.  

~

"... Looking for a Native American, a Pharaoh, Attila the Hun..." 

"I can't believe I forgot to send them back." Ahkmenrah groaned, his head in his hands. He could feel his face turning a deep shade of red. 

It was McPhee who had shown the Pharaoh the news report. He had delighted in taking the night to see the exhibits in action and couldn't resist getting to know the Egyptian. 

It was going well so far. 

"Also what, does... does Larry just get away with it?" 

"I don't think 'night guard' is a typical wild stag do look." 

"And 'scout' is? Is that how people make themselves look more rebellious? Also, if we were the last people seen around the lions, doesn't that mean someone else must have been there to see us?" 

"Maybe you should wear normal clothes when going out." McPhee suggested, switching off the suspended TV in his office. 

"Maybe we would have, if we were planning to go out. You can't ship a mummy to a museum wearing modern clothes." Ahkmenrah replied as he and McPhee left the office. 

"I doubt anyone would check." 

"Of course they'd check. You could be shipping out a bomb or something." 

"A bomb? In a sarcophagus?" 

"Yes! Once, there was a sarcophagus on a train, but the mummy was actually a kidnapped child. They knew because the demon could tell the mummy didn't look like the Pharaoh." 

"You almost had me there. That didn't really happen, did it?" 

"It happened... in an anime." 

"Oh, oh, you like anime!" 

"I don't like anime." Ahkmenrah insisted. "I... like... looking up Egyptian references on TV. I like seeing if I'm mentioned." 

"Are you?" 

Ahkmenrah contemplated responding, but decided it was beneath him and continued walking in silence, picking up the pace a little. 

~

"Not much is known about me, not much is known about most Pharaohs." Ahkmenrah justified, mainly for himself. "It's perfectly okay." 

"If you say so." McPhee shrugged. 

"But why is it a Native American, a Pharaoh and Attila the Hun? People should look at him and think 'viking' not 'Attila the Hun'. My clothing is significant. My clothing was on How I Met Your Mother. That's right, I found it. Barney Stinson dressed in this clothing when he and Robin were told not to touch anything." 

"How do you find the time to do this?" 

"Nobody parties for 12 hours straight. Actually it was Jed and Octavius who introduced me to it... speaking of which." 

He spotted the two miniatures in the remote control car - he never did figure out how that worked. He doubted a child's toy would have actual working breaks and... other things a car had. Did the tablet make that real too? How far did that work, exactly? Paintings became real, he knew that, but why did it not do the same for drawings? 

He wondered if it would work on origami. 

He vowed to try it. 

"Jed, Octavius! It's so good to see you." 

Ahkmenrah offered a hand for the miniatures, which they thankfully accepted. They could just about forgive the Pharaoh for manhandling them, knowing he didn't like to look down on anyone - surprising for a royal, but still. 

"Expect an earthquake," Octavius cautioned him, "in three... two... one." 

"Rexy!" The Pharaoh smiled as the t-rex came pouncing towards him. "And... Dex?" 

The monkey was riding the dinosaur. 

"That is not something I ever expected to see."

~

**Night 2**

"Tilly, hi." Nick said with a wave. 

"Hey Nicky. How's life treating you?" 

The young boy shrugged. "Good enough. I think I've become nocturnal, though. Oh, and I got my history A level!" 

"Good for you." 

"Are you sure that's your best subject?" A sweet, recognisable voice asked behind him. Nick span around quickly to find his best friend and honorary big brother, the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah. 

"Ahk! Good to see you." 

"You too! It's been, oh how long? Twelve hours? Twelve whole hours. Seven hundred and twenty minutes. Forty-three thousand and two hundred seconds. Shall I continue?" 

"I'm not really sure you can." 

"Forty-three million, two hundred thousand milliseconds." 

"You're mad." 

Ahkmenrah smiled at what he was taking as a compliment. "How have you been for the 4.32 times 10 to the power 13 nanoseconds I haven't seen you?" 

"Asleep and how do you do that?" 

"Nick, Nick, we built the pyramids. We can do basic maths." 

Nick shook his head. "That, that was not basic maths." 

"Were you not taught the process of adding zeroes to numbers? Honestly though, history?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I went for Egyptology." 

"Really? That dull subject? They were all mad. You know some Pharaohs buried their servants? Though they did invent pies. Not the Pharaohs. They had better things to do." 

Nick smiled and stepped forward for a hug. 

**Night 3**

The previous two nights had been hectic, Ahkmenrah decided he wanted a little quiet by the time it reached the third night. Not for the whole twelve hours. Just for a short while. 

He'd taken a book to the Egyptian wing of the museum. 

It didn't last long. 

"Ah, Ahk." The significantly loud knight exclaimed. "I wondered where you'd wandered off to." 

"Wandered? Wandered off to? This was... never mind." 

"What are you doing?" 

Ahkmenrah looked to his book, then back to Lancelot. "It's a book. I know this new world must seem strange to you-"

"I understand that. What are you reading?" 

"Words." 

Lancelot rolled his eyes and, realising he would get no answers by simply asking, tore the book from the Pharaoh's hands. 

"The Sacred Magic of Ancient Egypt." Lancelot read. "Do you actually like anything else?" 

"I have plenty of interests, Lance, none of which I am discussing with you." 

"Oh, why not?" 

Much to Ahkmenrah's displeasure, Lancelot sat beside him on the floor against the wall. 

Ahkmenrah sighed. "You won't leave until we talk, will you?" The knight shook his head. "Fine. Well, a few years ago there was this TV series called Merlin." 

"Really." Lancelot replied, with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

"Actually, the person who played you also played a Musketeer... anyway, it ended on Christmas eve. Made all its fans utterly depressed on Christmas." 

"Why?" 

"Arthur died. He found out Merlin had magic, then he died." 

~

The conversation lasted longer than either party thought it would. By the time Larry found them, they were discussing whether or not it was 'weird' that people are digging up tombs and placing dead people on display. 

"A former king of England was found in a car park. Besides, I don't think it's weird. People today would barely know anything about us if they didn't."


	2. Chapter 2

The forth night began relatively similar. Trixie and Rexy appeared to be tugging on what looked like a large rope, Jed and Octavius were still driving, Lancelot seemed to be having some form of conversation with the Easter Island Head. 

"Do you have organs?" 

Ahkmenrah looked around to find where the voice had come from, only to discover Jed and Octavius were sitting on his shoulder. If they weren't in the car, who was? 

"When did that happen?" Ahkmenrah never felt them - they almost reminded him of his cat back in Egypt. He often found himself stroking it for hours on end before realising what he was doing. "Erm, I suppose I must." 

"Then why doesn't Rexy?" Jed asked, looking towards the dinosaur that appeared to be chasing its own tail. 

"Maybe because I have my canopic jars?" Ahkmenrah suggested. 

"But they threw away the brain, didn't they?" Octavius reminded him. "Thinking it wasn't important." 

"Thank you for that horrible, horrible image of how they did that..." Ahkmenrah shuddered. "And maybe then, it's... well, can we really be one hundred percent sure that that's what a T-Rex looked like? This is the world's biggest jigsaw puzzle. Besides, we're just different. Rexy plays fetch with his own rib bone." 

"I'm sure you could rip out your own rib bone if you tried." 

Then it occured to him, his face lit up. "Rexy is a fossil. That's why! I think. It has to be. His bones are not made of calcium, they're made of stone. Even if that's not right, it sounds clever." 

"It sure does," Jed agreed, "but it still doesn't explain whether or not you have organs." 

Ahkmenrah sighed. He took a deep breath in, then out. "Clearly I have lungs. If I have lungs, I must have the other things. Happy?" 

"We ain't satisfied-" 

"Oh, well I am going to walk over there now, quickly, and I may even stretch a little." 

The two miniatures shared a look of horror as Ahkmenrah stepped away from the ledge. 

"You wouldn't!" 

"I might." 

~

Throw, duck, throw, duck, throw, duck. Throw the rib bone, duck so the tail doesn't break your nose. A perfectly normal thing to spend your nights doing. 

It wasn't his fault. He was not aiming at Lancelot. He just happened to walk in the way of the bone. 

"Oh! Sorry! Oh, watch out for... Rexy." He covered his face with his hands. "This isn't funny, this isn't funny." 

~

"How is it?" 

"It isn't funny." Ahkmenrah coughed. "It's alright, the people will have you fixed during the day. It'll be fine. Except they won't because you're just armour, aren't you. Why did they give you a face? That's not important. You know what, Sacagawea is good with this. I'll... I'll find her. It's not funny." 

~

"Aw, don't feel bad." Ahkmenrah gently stroked the top of Rexy's head. "It's fine, it's just a little... hilarious." He looked up as Tilly approached. 

"Hey, Ahk, I need to talk to you." 

~

Earlier that day, Larry met the new Egyptologists at the University he taught at. Evangeline and Jessie, they called themselves. When Larry found them, they were staring at a variety of X-Rays and CT scans - Larry was surprised they hadn't burned a hole through them. 

"Found anything interesting?" 

Jessie shook his head. "Not yet. I mean, we're looking at X-Rays of Tutankamun so... it's interesting. Nothing helpful, though. Hi, I'm Jessie." 

"Evangeline." 

"Ah, I'm Larry. Larry Daley. I teach history. In general. So what are you looking for?" 

"Any indication of how he died." Evangeline told him, returning to the X-Rays. "There are so many theories. Murder, chariot accident... others." 

"What are you leaning towards?" 

"Chariot accident." The two replied in perfect unison, as though it was rehearsed. 

Jessie gasped. "Oh my god, oh my god, look at that!" 

"Look at what?" Evangeline asked, following her friend's gaze. "Oh... wow." 

"What is it?" Larry asked. 

"How, how did we miss that? Jessie... no heart. He has no heart. He... he must have had a chest injury. Look at that! Where the heart should be, that's perfectly lined with the pelvic fracture..." 

Jessie nodded slowly. "His entire left side is damaged. That, that has to be the wheel of a chariot. Drawings suggest he was at some point at war, what if he fell and... and was hit... He had severe bone issues, those chariots were not easy to use..." 

"This is exciting, this is really exciting!"

~

"Go back to your exhibit, Lancelot, or I will speak Egyptian at my tablet and make you!" 

"What are you doing?" 

Ahkmenrah scowled. "A few Egyptologists have made a breakthrough regarding Tut Ank Amun and, being from the same dynasty, they want to compare us since they don't have access to KV-55."

"Do you mean Tutankamun?" 

"No, I mean Tut Ank Amun. That's how you pronounce it. Don't look at me like that. I know how to pronounce names in my own language. Listen, if so much as a bandage is out of place, they will notice. I have to look perfect." 

"Oh, I see, I understand. Take your time." 

"Wouldn't want them building up an image of me being well-toned but weak, now would I?" 

Ahkmenrah turned to find the knight gone. 

~

"Okay. Cool. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye." Evangeline hung up the phone, turned it off and placed it back in her pocket. "Listen, we really appreciate this. We probably won't find anything, but it's worth a try." 

"What is it you're looking for?" McPhee asked. The Egyptologists had been allowed to study the mummy provided the museum curator was allowed to stay while they did so. 

"Well, we've noticed there's so much 'wrong' about Tut's mummy." Jessie replied, switching on the digital autopsy table. "We want to see if it's specific to him, or if this is an actual dynasty thing." 

"Why not look at KV55? Isn't he closer?" 

Jessie sighed and shook his head. "There are doubts as to whether or not KV55 is actually Ahkenaten. What we have here," he said, switching between two images on the autopsy table, "are king Tut and Yuya - a eoutier active during Ahkenaten's reign who eventually became Pharaoh. His tomb was one of the most spectacular findings and his mummy is almost perfectly intact. 

"Anyway, we get Ahkmenrah for a day, so what we're going to have to do... is scan him. If that's alright with you. Then we can continue the study, after today." 

"A scan... that won't harm the mummy, will it?" 

Evangeline shook his head. "No, that's why we'd do a CT scan. We want to avoid touching the mummy as much as we can. You know, in the 1800s, the mummy was completely destroyed in front of an audience and then thrown away afterwards? Imagine how much we'd know if they were preserved." 

~

"Like this, for example." Evangeline noticed, gesturing over the placement of the arms on Tutankamun's scan. "Ahk's arms were placed in the royal manner, as were Yuya's, but Tut's arms are lower. Possibly a sign of a botched mummification?"  

"Maybe..." Jessie paused, pondering. He crossed his arms. "We assume from the paintings of his tomb that Ay had a part in the mummification process - we assume he performed the opening of the mouth - which is usually done by the Pharaoh's son or successor... Perhaps this was Ay's doing. I mean, he was visor for three generations, he had to have been feeling bitter." 

"You don't think he wanted Tut to have the regal position? That... That could make sense. It is thought that he had their tombs switched..."

"Wait..." Jessie circled an area around the scanned foot. "He had bone issues, we know that. But look how severe that is, there is absolutely no way he'd have been able to ride a chariot, especially in war. He'd barely have been able to stand." 

"What are you saying?" 

"I'm saying... I think he tried, but failed. He fell, and another wheel came crashing into him. That would explain the line of the injuries... but if the heart was truly lost, the embalmers would have discretely replaced it with something else. Unless the heart was damaged beyond recognition, they wouldn't have removed it anyway. 

"I think the injuries to his left side and the removal of the heart are two completely different things. I think the heart was removed for more sinister reasons. I think someone didn't want him having a safe passage into the Afterlife." 

The door opened, somewhat distracting them from their train of thought. "The scan is complete." 

~

The scan on the autopsy table had been replaced with that of Ahkmenrah. They had decided to begin with bone structure. 

"Unbelievable." The two said in unison, causing McPhee to shiver slightly. 

"What, what's unbelievable?" 

"Pharaohs often had some abnormality or other," Evangeline explained, "but this... he was a very healthy Pharaoh. This is... very unusual." 

Jessie pressed a few buttons on the table and switched from skeletal structure to organs and tissues. "Oh, that's... that's something." 

"What is it?" McPhee asked, moving closer. 

"He... he wasn't..." Evangeline faltered. "His organs... are still there!" 

The room was filled with complete silence. After a few awkward minutes - probably only seconds, actually - McPhee spoke. "But about Tut-"

"Forget about Tut," Jessie said quickly, "this is far more fascinating."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I wrote about Tut's mummy itself is true, I study Egyptology, but the theory about Ay is my own - not to say other people haven't also thought it.


	3. Chapter 3

Ahkmenrah felt relatively alright when he awoke for the fifth night. No stiffness, hopefully no radiation poisoning. He did not feel violated in any way. Actually, he was grateful for the recognition. 

He hadn't even been given the chance to pass the gates before McPhee stopped him. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

Ahkmenrah tilted his head in the innocent manner he had adopted. "About what?" 

"They scanned you and, what, did you not expect them to find out?" 

"Find out what?" 

"That you... you know." 

"No, I don't, or I wouldn't ask." 

McPhee made some movements with his hands which Ahkmenrah could not interpret, followed by some unexplainable noises, before finally gesturing his hand at the Pharaoh in front of him. 

"I don't know what you're saying." 

In a quite voice, as though he was passing on some important banking codes or something, McPhee explained - somewhat. "Organs. You. Missing." 

Ahkmenrah blinked a few times before responding. "Just, just give me a moment to formulate a coherent sentence out of that." 

"They are never going to leave you alone now. Have you any idea how much damage that could do?" 

"I think they're quite careful." 

"Why has this never been mentioned before? They aren't the first people to have studied you." 

Ahkmenrah sighed, motioning towards the sarcophagus. They sat on the edge of it - they were going to be there for a while. "No, that would be the people at Cambridge, and I managed to convince them not to publish their findings. I explained why and that was good enough for them, apparently." 

"Why?" 

"The tablet was meant to bring us to life at night, we didn't want to wake up without organs. We went to great lengths to avoid it." 

"How did you?" 

"You are familiar with the process?" 

"Of course." 

"I oversaw my father's and... well I don't know for certain who oversaw mine, I have a good idea though. The embalmers knew better than to argue with a Pharaoh." 

~

Elsewhere that night, Evangeline and Jessie could not sleep. Neither, for that matter, could Czetumade. He did try, but two excited Egyptologists rang him up in the middle of the night. 

Czetumade was currently in Egypt, studying Tutankamun's mummy in person - which was particularly difficult as the mummy was behind glass in his original tomb located deep in the Valley of the Kings. 

"So," he asked, "what do you think?" 

Jessie smiled. He and Evangeline were sitting on his bed, surrounded by print outs of various scans and previous articles. "Me thinks... it works. I'll bet if we were to get a scan of his parents, we'll find the same thing." 

Evangeline shrugged. "Or we could just... break into the museum." 

"We could," Jessie agreed, "but that would be highly illegal." 

"I think you should do the parents thing first." Czetumade advised. "You don't want to be breaking the law just yet. I, on the other hand, will be further studying Tutankamun's tomb tomorrow - we are not giving up on this." 

"No," Evangeline shook her head, "no. We can do both. We can multitask. Besides, Tut's is what we're getting university funding for. This can be a side project."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by a loud gasp. "Oh... my... God." 

~

McPhee was in his office, about to leave, when his phone rang. He didn't recognise the caller ID, but he answered regardless. 

"McPhee, hey, quick question." It was Jessie. "Remember Ahkmenrah? Is he alive right now?" 

"Sorry, is the 3000 year old mummy alive right now?" 

"Yes! Now either tell me yes or tell me I'm being crazy so we can go back to the Valley of the Kings crisis!" 

"Valley of the Kings crisis?" 

"Turn on the TV." 

~

When McPhee found him, Ahkmenrah was speaking to Tilly and Sacagawea. Atilla was there also, but there was not much conversing happening there. 

"Okay Ahkmenrah is alive probably not in the way you want but still I really think he can help I'm passing you on now bye." 

"What, no, what are you - hello."

The silence on the other end seemed to last for minutes, but he knew that in reality it could only be a few seconds. "So." Jessie's voice came at last, followed by a slightly shorted pause. Ahkmenrah set the phone to speaker during this pause. 

"I'm not sure if you're being sincere or not, but I'll tell you the situation anyway. Our friend Czetumade was allowed to observe Tutankamun's mummy in his tomb in the Valley of the Kings... the point is, the mummy, along with every other one in the Valley, is alive... and by that, I mean... well, have you ever seen the Mummy Trilogy?" 

Ahkmenrah blinked a few times before responding, trying to absorb this new information. Before he had the chance to reply, he heard a quieter female voice in the background. 

"It's like a zombie infestation out there." 

~

Czetumade had locked himself in an abandoned tomb. "I get it, your heart wasn't removed, you couldn't go to the Afterlife, that must really irritate you, I get that, but - ah!" 

~

With the help of Jed and Octavius, the people at the museum were able to set up a direct webchat link with the Egyptologists - low internet connection at the hotel caused a little delay, but it worked well enough for a decent conversation. 

The two Egyptologists had their friend and colleague Czetumade on the phone, set to speaker. 

"I'd - I'd turned my back to check my notes," Czetumade explained the best he could, "when I - I heard banging, followed by... by smashing. I, erm, I found Ay's tomb, it's empty, so..." 

"There are over 50 tombs there, are they all awake?" Ahkmenrah asked clearly. 

"Er, I don't know, there's certainly more than one out there! I haven't exactly counted." Though the voice over the phone then over the computer contained a fair amount of static, the large banging sound was clear. "I don't think I can hold it much longer!" 

"It takes about four and a half hours to get to Egypt by plane." Evangeline said.

"I can tell you right now that I cannot hold it for four and a half hours!" Czetumade yelled. 

Ahkmenrah briefly glanced back to the direction of his own tomb in the museum before looking directly at the screen. "How long would it take you to get here?" 

~

For any Egyptologist, there will come a time when their focus is solely on the Tablet of Ahkmenrah, no matter how short a period of time that is. Some may try to fight it, but it is inevitable. 

"Possibly one of the biggest mysteries in Egyptian history," Evangeline gasped, "this is truly amazing. And this can teleport?" 

"It can." Ahkmenrah replied slowly. "With the right combination." 

"You know the combination, right?" Jessie asked. 

Ahkmenrah paused, not entirely sure if he did or not. Convincing himself that he did indeed know it, he nodded slowly. "I might. Yes, I must. I think." 

~

The door would not hold for much longer. Czetumade stood up slowly, his weight still on the door, his eyes locked on the empty sarcophagus in the middle of the tomb. 

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and ran to it. He leapt over the sarcophagus, lifted the lid, jumped into it and closed the lid. He counted six seconds before he heard the door burst open. 

His eyes were squeezed closed and his breaths were as quiet and shallow as he could make them.


	4. Chapter 4

Ahkmenrah checked the time. 10:30. The sun would rise in approximately eight and a half hours. However, the difference in time zones is six hours. 4:30 in Egypt, the sun would rise at approximately 5:20. They didn't even have a full hour. 

What did they need to do? Go over to Egypt, rescue a trapped Egyptologist, and return. Perhaps figure out exactly what was causing mummies of the Valley to... be alive. 

They could do this in fifty minutes. 

"Dexter!" The Pharaoh gasped as the cappuchin leapt onto his shoulder. "What are you doing?" 

"Coming with you." Sacagawea said firmly, standing between Attila and Lancelot. 

"You gotta take the tablet with you if you wanna be back in time," Jed said from inside the Hun's hat, "who knows what kinda weird and wonderful stuff you'll end up waking up?" 

"You do know we are not going anywhere near any museums or monuments?" 

"Yeah, but you are going to a place famous for dead people." Jed replied. 

Ahkmenrah smiled and shook his head. "You don't want to go to Egypt - via tablet, which will give you a massive headache - to rescue a trapped Egyptologist. No, you want to get out. 

"You want another one of our adventures where we leave the museum and almost get killed by some other exhibit or monument, where we split up for some reason and you wind up getting yourselves in some sort of situation which looks normal to us but massively dangerous to you. That's what you want, isn't it? 

"I admit I've missed that. Alright, let's do it." 

"You really don't have to come, guys." Jessie said, checking the time. "if something goes wrong, you've got fifty minutes." 

"We'll have even less that that if we don't go now." Ahkmenrah said, pressing what he hoped was the correct combination for travel. 

~

Czetumade was shaking. His hands were firmly over his mouth, successfully muffling an accidental whimper when he heard a bang on the lid of the sarcophagus. 

He wasn't ordinarily claustrophobic, but it felt like these particular walls were closing in on him, though he'd prefer that than the lid opening. 

Which it did. 

His heart almost exploded, but the sight he was greeted with calmed him. 

"Oh, thank the gods." 

Jessie scowled. "They had nothing to do with it." He helped his friend out of the abandoned sarcophagus. 

"What are the - where are they?" 

Jessie looked towards the open entrance. "They're... being weird." 

~ 

Outside, the living exhibits were watching the mummies from behind a large sand covered rock. 

"This is the strangest thing I have ever seen in my four thousand year long life." Ahkmenrah whispered. "How is this happening?" 

"More importantly, why isn't the tablet having an effect on them?" Jed whispered from the safety of Attila's hat. 

"That's a good question. Something really strange is happening and we need to find out what." 

"You have forty five minutes." Evangeline reminded them, checking her watch as Jessie and Czetumade joined them. "Maybe you should... not." 

Ahkmenrah shook his head. "We can't just leave. We can't just let fifty-odd brainless mummies roam the Valley of the Kings. That's something people might notice. We have to do something... Erm, provided everyone agrees." 

"What do you expect to do?" Jessie asked. "What can you possibly do?" 

~

It is a common misconception that burying their servants was popular amongst Pharaohs. This was, in fact, quite rare. The Pharaohs realised that the servants would be more useful living and so had buried with them models of servants, Shabti, that would aid them in the Afterlife. 

Like Ahkmenrah, Pharaohs also often had jackals and other means of protection. Anything to protect their tomb from robbers. 

Technically, this was a period after the lives of the Pharaohs of the Valley of the Kings. Technically... this should count as 'after life'. 

That was Ahkmenrah's argument, anyway. 

"This may have been easier if I'd have brought my own jackals, but still... We just need to convince them." 

"So you'd have to go inside every single tomb, then?" Lancelot asked. "That's an awful design flaw." 

"Not really, we didn't want everything coming to life, did we?" 

"They're doing it, they're actually doing it." Jessie muttered under his breath. "Why are they doing it?" 

"You do know 'stage whispering' doesn't really work, don't you?" Octavius shouted from Attila's hat. 

~

The first tomb they entered was highly decorated, more so than the average tomb. There was a significant lack of mummy, but that was fairly usual in the Valley of the Kings. There was various damage to the walls, possibly done by tourists before the tomb closed from the public. 

The Egyptologists knew immediately that this particular tomb was the longest tomb in the valley, measuring 137.19 metres with eleven chambers. Tomb KV17, otherwise known as the Tomb of Apis, Belzoni's tomb or more commonly the tomb of the Pharaoh Seti. 

"So this is the last tomb I ever wanted to find myself in." Czetumade admitted, wrapping his arms around himself. "This is creepy." 

"Right, but other large, overly decorated graves aren't?" Lancelot asked. 

"This is the Pharaoh Seti's tomb," authentic Pharaoh Ahkmenrah explained, "it's... odd. There's a 174 meters long unfinished tunnel, no-one knows what it was for or why it was never completed, though the really odd part is that the walls are round and there are abandoned Shabti part way down the tunnel." 

Evangeline smiled. "That was 19th Dynasty. You've been doing your research." 

Ahkmenrah returned the smile. "I needed something to pass time. All I had for entertainment was... well, have you ever seen the British Natural History Museum?" 

"We got to the blue whale, then found out we're claustrophobic and had to leave ASAP." Jessie replied. "But we heard about what we missed. How do things like the glass of thin fossils work?" 

"Oh, they're too separate to come to life." Ahkmenrah explained as they ventured further into the tomb. "And if you promise not to tell anyone, some of them belong to different animals - that's not what I had in mind." 

When the Pharaohs stopped using actual servants and started using Shabti to aid them in the afterlife, the idea was that they would be able to carry out heavy manual tasks. These Shabti were supposed to symbolise the perfect servants. 

But with a tablet that simply brought exhibits to life the way they were... a small army of tiny figurines wouldn't be much help. 

No offence to Jed and Octavius, he thought to himself. 

From the entrance of the tunnel, long footsteps were heard, accompanied by a slowly growing shadow. It was a small, yet efficient jackal. 

"That's more like it." 

Czetumade crossed his arms. "I'm glad you like it, you've got forty minutes left." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the Natural History Museum in London. My hypersensitive nerves are on the fritz, but it was so worth it! Also tried out the Marvel 4D experience. Seen Age of Ultron four times now - it came out on 23rd! That'll be my next fic, I imagine.


	5. Chapter 5

"Forty minutes." Ahkmenrah repeated, clasping his hands together. "We can do this." 

"Really?" Jessie asked, removing his jacket - nobody told him Egypt would be so humid. "We don't even know what's going on, we don't know what we're supposed to do, we can't touch them or Egyptologists will find out. What is it you intend to do in forty minutes?" 

"We don't need to know why this is happening, not right now." Ahkmenrah replied. "We just need to focus on keeping them away from the public. We don't want another Trafalgar Square style news report." 

Czetumade gasped, partially with excitement. "The missing lions. That was you?" 

Ahkmenrah turned to the now living jackals and Shabti and spoke orders in Egyptian. While he did, Sacagawea leaned towards Czetumade. 

"Lancelot stole the tablet and rode past the lions with it." 

"But they still haven't returned yet. Do you know what happened to them?" 

"Not a clue." 

There was a gasp from outside. 

 

What they didn't know was that close by, a team of archaeologists had set up camp. There were two lines of jeeps, in between which was a makeshift tent. It was efficient enough for the job. 

"I bought a hat," Vordien overheard one of the team exclaim from outside his tent, "it makes me feel like Indiana Jones." 

Vordien smiled to himself. He wasn't the most sociable of people, so he settled for sitting up with a book during the nights. It was one of Howard Carter's books, 'The Tomb of Tut-Ankh-Amen.' 

He was able to read at least three more sentences before he heard around five or six people loudly singing the Indiana Jones theme. He put the book down and slid under the tent. He waited until they'd almost finished before making himself known. 

"Have you guys been up all night?" 

"Sorry," the younger of the group apologised softly, "are we disturbing you?" 

Vordien shook his head. "No, not at all. I was just wondering... I can't sleep either." 

"No." The younger said, noticing the rest of the group had now scattered. "Something doesn't feel right." 

"I know what you mean." 

 

A few minutes later, Vordien found himself sitting beside a fire with the young boy, attempting to roast marshmallows. 

"I've never roasted marshmallows before." The young boy admitted. 

Vordien smiled. "I have, once. I was at a bonfire - funny story, the bonfire exploded - anyway, we had marshmallows and decided to try to roast them, so we collected a load of twigs for it. I think we ended up eating more bark than marshmallows." 

"Ew, really?" 

"Really. Oh, that was hilarious. The hedge ended up catching fire and we panicked so we shouted at our friend to fetch some water... and he came out with a small glass full." 

"You're right, that's hilarious. It reminds me of when we accidentally set a table on fire in science and someone tried putting it out by blowing on it." 

Vordien smiled. "So you took science?" 

The young boy nodded. "Chemistry. I was convinced I was going to be a chemist, but then Egypt distracted me. I took history too to build up the A levels and... well... that and I failed chemistry." 

"I did chemistry. I understood the stuff, I just couldn't remember the words." 

"They had such stupid words!" He was about to continue, listing however many words he could remember, but a large gust of wind distracted him. "Oh no, please don't be a sand storm." 

"Hey, maybe if there's a sand storm, we might end up finding something." The boy shot him a confused look. "Oh, the Nile expedition of 1952... You don't know about the Nile expedition?" 

The young boy shook his head. "No..." 

"Come on, let's shelter ourselves, and I shall tell you about the Nile expedition."

 

"Are you familiar with the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah?" 

The boy shook his head. "I mean, I've heard of the name." 

"How did you get through a whole course on Egypt without Ahkmenrah? That's awful. Hang on." Vordien began routing through his bag. He pulled out an old, worn out book and handed it to the boy. "Here, this is a book on the Nile expedition of '52. There's a chapter on Ahkmenrah." 

"Only a chapter?" 

"Well, not much is known about him. To be honest, a lot more is known about Kahmunrah-" 

"Oh, I know him! We had a lesson on him." 

"Of course you'd have a lesson on the evil people." 

There was a whistling gust of wind outside. Louder. They gasped as the white sheet acting as a tent fell on top of them, one of the jeeps blowing over on its side. 

Vordien smelled smoke before it registered he had a lit candle. The two scrambled from under the sheet before it caught fire. 

"Oh... not my books." 

"Vordien?" The young boy gasped, an expression of horror spreading across his face. 

Vordien turned around slowly, following the boy's gaze and adopting a similar horrified expression. The majority of the jeeps were no longer in one piece. The sheets were tangled. 

The team were missing. 

"VORDIEN!" 

Vordien turned again. The boy had disappeared. Vordien looked into the sand and saw no traces of anything other than where the boy had been standing. 

Vordien did a full turn and still found nothing. It was deadly quite. Like a ghost town. 

He knelt down slowly and picked up the hat, gently brushing the sand off it. He flicked his hair behind him and placed the hat on his head. 

"Why would you do that?" 

 

Not that they were unused to the sight of a living Pharaoh, but an army of living mummified Egyptians surrounding them? That was certainly unusual. No, that wasn't quite the right word. 

Unsettling? 

What was even more unsettling was what laid around them. They had been animated for a matter of seconds, and already they had been defeated. 

"Well... that didn't last long..." Jed commented. 

Eyes - or rather the sockets where the eyes should have been - locked on them, the army advanced. 

"Tunnel, tunnel!" Jessie yelled as the group retreated back to the tomb of the Pharaoh Seti. 

"How is trapping ourselves going to help?" Jed asked, rather panicked, and understandably so. 

"Just trust us." 

 

"I know you are there!" Vordien shouted, his voice emphatically forcing its way through the heavy wind. The lack of response only caused his anger to grow. "It does not take a genuis to figure out you are there. Show yourself!" 

"Oh very well." A bored sounding voice said from behind him. Vordien turned a little too quickly, causing him to feel a little dizzy, but he wouldn't let it show. He found himself staring into the eyes of an unbearably being. 

"What do you want this time?" 

The being in front of him smiled. "You can sense it, can't you? Something disturbing. I believe they all could... but you know what it is, don't you?" 

Vordien blinked a few times. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Don't do that. You know full well what I'm talking about..." 

A little slower, Vordien repeated. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and I have officially finished as level history. Sad, sad day. Still... after 7 years of waiting... we finally get the Stuarts next year! Can't wait.


	6. Chapter 6

Ahkmenrah was the last to wake. When he did, he was sure it was darker than it was to begin with. Perhaps he'd slept through an entire day. Except if he had, he'd have turned to dust, wouldn't he? 

Wherever he was, it certainly wasn't the museum. It was then that he noticed Sacagawea watching him with a concerned expression. 

"Are you alright?" She asked, offering him a hand. 

He nodded slowly, trying to regain his bearings. With help, he stood, a little shaky. The second thing he noticed was that they were behind uneven stone bars, one of which had a snake pattern twisting around it. 

"Sorry for the surprise, truly I am." Evangeline said with a smile. "Only, any person who doesn't think it's a little bit weird that museum exhibits come to life every night isn't the sanest of people." 

The third thing he noticed was that the three Egyptologists he knew looked significantly different. Or rather, their clothing did. It was bright, gold... Egyptian. 

Czetumade shrugged. "Though any person who doesn't question the name 'Czetumade' gets everything they deserve. 

"Where are we?" Lancelot demanded. "What is this?" 

Jessie spread his arms. "Welcome to the Underworld!" 

"It's been refurbished since your last visit was supposed to take place. You never joined us and we all wondered why. Now we know." Evangeline added. 

"So it's the tablet you're after? This isn't very original." Octavius said from the safety of Attila's hat. 

Ahkmenrah let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. The two miniatures were still with them, something that didn't often happen. At least that was something. 

Jed nodded. "Every other day we're protecting the tablet from psychopathic weirdoes." 

Evangeline smiled. "It's always about the tablet, isn't it? That's what makes your museum so great. That's why people visit. For the famed tablet of Ahkmenrah. And as for psychopathic weirdoes, it is a given rule that anything Egyptian nowadays has to be evil. Or cursed.

"Thing is, I can imagine the whole process is a little disorientating at first. I can imagine you were used to waking up free. Being trapped in a sarcophagus would make anyone feel claustrophobic. Muffled screams can't be appealing from the outside. Anyone who owns something as powerful as the tablet must be at least as powerful himself, if not more. How long did it take for them to free you?

And even then, I can almost guarantee it was because of the tablet. Perhaps someone was trying to steal it? Perhaps someone was trapped and needed you to call off your jackal guards?"

Jessie shook his head. "Nobody in their right mind would willingly face two large jackal guards to free a single person who may or may not be dangerous. It would be a whole lot easier to just stay away." 

"Then all of a sudden, you go to London." Czetumade continued. "The very museum your parents were at. And that was for the tablet too, I bet. Surely they didn't go all that way just to reunite you through the good of their hearts." 

Sacagawea placed a hand on Ahkmenrah's shoulder. "Don't listen to them, Ahk." 

"You won't get away with this! People will come looking-" Jed shouted defiantly. 

"Yes but they won't though, will they?" Evangeline crossed her arms. "Because, in about half an hour, they will all assume you perished in the sunlight... further helped by our confirmation. Which of course, we all know can't happen. I mean, there's no 'day' in the Underworld." 

"'This is all that was left' we will say as we present the tablet. It will deeply sadden us to break the news, but still... someone had to do it." That was the fourth main thing Ahkmenrah noticed; that Czetumade was holding the tablet. 

"And eventually the tablet will return to the British Museum, since that's where it technically belongs now." Jessie said, adjusting his golden tunic before scratching his arm. 

"And when Tilly breaks the news to your parents and they mourn your death, which they will... Well, we can't tell you the entirety of our evil plan, can we? Then you'll escape and tell everyone else." 

Czetumade handed the tablet to Jessie and brushed down his own tunic, removing the invisible creases. "If you'll excuse us, we have to go and prepare ourselves." 

As Evangeline left silently, Czetumade pulled Jessie to the side. "Keep an eye on the Roman, we're not taking any chances this time."

 "You don't believe them, do you?" Sacagawea asked, placing a soft hand on Ahkmenrah's shoulder. 

Ahkmenrah shook his head slowly, his eyes trailing the markings on the ground. "No... of course not." 

"That's not really convincing, Ahk." Jed's surprisingly loud voice shouted from the Hun's hat. 

 

Czetumade lowered his head as he passed the tablet back to the curator. "We're truly sorry. We tried to be back in time, but I think we underestimated their strength. It was too much." 

"They wouldn't be so careless..." Tilly tried not to make any eye contact with anyone. She knew what would happen if she did. 

"We're sorry." Czetumade sighed. 

McPhee looked up from the tablet. "Funny you came back with barely a scratch." 

Tilly nodded slowly. "Yeah... yeah, why are you so unharmed?" 

"How did you even get back here so soon? As if you know how to use the tablet." 

Czetumade shrugged. "We just did what Ahk did-" 

Tilly folded her arms tightly across her chest. "I doubt it's as simple as that." 

Evangeline's breath hitched. "Look, we get it. You're going through the five stages of grief and that's okay. Admittedly, you went through the first one a little quicker than most." 

 

Jessie, on the other hand, remained in the Underworld, keeping a watchful eye. Though perhaps he wasn't the best choice; he had been awake for the past 24 hours, give or take some, and those hours did involve carefully studying CT scans and running away from animated dead Egyptians. 

Which was perhaps why he didn't realise that the knight was speaking to him until he was reaching the end of his monologue. 

"Now I'm not an expert, but I'm almost certain Evangeline is not an Egyptian name." 

Jessie yawned and shook his head. "That's not her real name. It's Amenti." 

"Jessie isn't an Egyptian name, either." 

Jessie didn't respond. 

"You're not Egyptian, are you?" It wasn't just the name that made Ahkmenrah question his authenticity. It was his posture, his demeanour, the way his clothes clearly irritated him. 

"... Actually I'm a Stuart. A Cavalier. The mental, whacky ones with no armour and dance-offs." 

"Dance-offs?" Octavius questioned. He must have missed that particular event. 

"We had this... disease that made us dance... kind of like that Buffy episode Once More with Feeling. Anyway, that's not important. I mean, we didn't spontaneously combust or anything. We just collapsed from exhaustion." 

"You look like you're about to collapse from exhaustion right now." Sacagawea acknowledged. 

"Stop trying to appeal to me! You cannot talk the enemy into letting you go, that's not really how it works. You cannot find some sort of common ground between us that suddenly makes me want to help you. I can assure you, there is none." He crossed his arms and leant back, wondering how long that pillar had been there. He didn't remember it. 

 

"Three years later and they're still trying to find this hamster." Jessie complained. "I'm not being insensitive or anything, I'm just saying that if a snake got out and one day later the hamster goes missing..." 

Ahkmenrah sighed. "I understand, people can be so slow." 

From the other side of the stone cell, the knight glared. "We're right here." 

Before anyone could respond, an Egyptian child peered through the doorway. "Jessie, you're needed. There's a... situation." 

Jessie rolled his eyes. "I'll be back." 

"Famous last words." The child smiled. 

"Don't go escaping while I'm gone." Jessie said in a scolding voice as though he was speaking to a toddler. He looked to the child. "I can trust you, can't I?" 

The child's smile widened. "Of course you can trust me." He shook his head as soon as Jessie was out of earshot. "He totally can't trust me. You can, erm, get around the Underworld, can't you? Being half god and all." 

Ahkmenrah stood up slowly, a little cautious, but smiled nonetheless. "I'm glad someone remembers that." The child shrugged and bit his lip before working on the lock. 

"Okay, they're out." The child said through some sort of device on his wrist - at least they hoped there was some sort of device there. 

\i "Thank the gods," \i0 an unfamiliar voice returned, \i "now about the whole Valley of the Kings thing..." \i0

"Sorry, have to go." 

\i "No, no, you can't just leave me here with-" 

\i0 Beep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three years ago, we went to Summerset. There was a monsoon. A bit before then, we went to Wales. Flood. Last week we went to a different part of Wales... earthquake.
> 
> Also fun fact. Next year in A2 English, we will have to write a non-fiction style piece but, if we do it write, it can be about a fictional thing. Tablet of Ahkmenrah, anyone?


	7. Chapter 7

"No, no, you can't just leave me with-" 

Beep. He was cut off. Maht-Ack cut him off. 

"Where's Ma'at when you need him?" Vordien shouted to the sky. "Surely this has to be a disturbance in the balance of things, or whatever it was you spent your time rectifying!" He dropped his head, a little fatigued. "Please be something simple like the Eye of Shangri La or something." 

"You haven't actually seen the Mummy, have you?" A voice asked. Vordien span a full 360 degrees but found nothing. Well, the current Valley of the Kings incident wasn't nothing, but still. He didn't find anyone that voice could have belonged to. 

It was the same voice as before. 

"Why would I do something like that? Seriously, Namahni, leave me alone." 

"Just admit it, Vordien!" 

 

"Wait..." Sacagawea said, causing the whole group to pause in their tracks. "Where's Dexter?" 

Maht-Ack rolled his eyes and huffed. "Dexter?" 

"A monkey." The knight explained. 

"Capuchin." Ahkmenrah clarified. 

"Of course there's a monkey. If I happen to see a monkey, I'll let you know." The child said, turning to continue. 

Sacagawea shook her head. "Capuchin, and we're not leaving without Dexter." 

"This is the Underworld and you're wanting to stay for longer than you have to?" 

"Alright," Ahkmenrah looked to Attila and spoke to him in his native language, "we'll find Dexter." 

Maht-Ack shook his head. "You're mad." 

Jed nodded. "We know." 

 

Vordien felt like a volcano that had been dormant for years, slowly building up the steaming hot magma. "Okay, Namahni, if you want to help, help. If you don't... just go away." 

There was a gust of wind, almost knocking Vordien off his feet. The sand in front of him began to spiral and within it, a familiar figure appeared. Vordien's apparent stalker. 

"If you insist-" 

"Wow, that was a little cliche."

"Vordien, just... okay? If you want my help, you could have just asked."

Vordien shook his head and crossed his arms like a protective shield, his internal temperature rising by the second. "I don't want your help. I want you to go away." 

Namahni shrugged. "Fine... I'll leave... if you really want me to..." 

"I do." 

"Come now, what did I ever do to you?" Namahni asked, spreading his arms. 

"What, how - how can you ask that? You just... my entire team..." 

"Relax, they're not dead. They're just in the Underworld." 

"How is that any better?" He screamed, metaphorically erupting, releasing toxis gases into the air, causing anyone in the vicinity to develop pheumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. 

"Why is this bothering you?" 

Vordien took a deep breath, cooling himself before he allowed himself to continue. "You know very well why this is bothering me!" 

Namahni smiled. "Tell me." 

"I'm not giving you the satisfaction of-" 

"This isn't about the whole demon thing, is it? It happened thousands of years ago, you have to get over it." 

"It's not... can we talk about this later? Dead Pharaohs walking, this takes priority right now." 

Namahni shrugged again. "Fine. If you insist." 

"I do." 

Namahni paused for a moment, allowing his former friend a little peace. "It's really simple, I'm surprised you haven't picked up on it already." 

"Namahni-"

"You used to be fun when you were mortal." 

"I stopped being mortal around four thousand years ago. That part of me is history." 

"Doesn't mean you had to stop being fun. Now do you want me to tell you what's going on because you'll kick yourself-" 

"Fine. Tell me." 

"You know part of it already, Vordien. You know. Admit it, admit why you're feeling odd, and I'll tell you what caused this crisis in the first place." 

Vordien narrowed his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Say it." 

"No." 

"Then I guess I'll be going." 

"Fine. It's the tablet, isn't it?" 

"The tablet? You may wish to be a little more specific." 

Vordien inhaled deeply - which may not have been such a good idea, given not only the recent figurative volcanic eruption but also the very real gust of wind which was still causing sand to float around mid air. "The tablet of Ahkmenrah. It's here, isn't it?" 

"There. That wasn't so hard, was it? Something's coming. The gods know it, we know it, and I think, deep down, you know it too. In time, in a very very short period of time, the Valley of the Kings will not be full of ambling brainless mummies..." 

Vordien paused, processing this new information. He turned his back to Namahni and looked to the sky. "The end of the world as we know it." 

"Or not," Namahni shrugged, "it all depends on how this goes." 

 

"I feel like someone keeps walking over my grave," Ahkmenrah admitted, a shiver running down his spine, "perhaps they stopped for a picnic, maybe a barbecue. I think someone brought their dog." 

"From what I have gathered by your outgoing stories which I'm still not convinced are entirely true," Lancelot said, "isn't it usually the cute little miniatures that go missing in this situation?" 

"Yes, and they usually end up in some sort of situation which I imagine would look rather humorous when you change perspectives. And don't ever call them cute when Jed's in the room. Or little... or miniatures." 

"I bet you've missed this, haven't you Ahk?" Sacagawea asked with a smile. 

Lancelot brushed one of the many snake patterns with his hand. "Wow you people really liked snakes, didn't you?" 

"Erm..." Ahkmenrah paused, contemplating the answer. "The snake patterns are really supposed to represent Apep. Why do you ask?" 

"So, this Apep person. Describe him to me." 

Ahkmenrah sighed. This was not the time nor the place for idle chitchat. "He's a reptile and he breaths fire. You'd like him." 

"Is he a little on the large side?" 

Ahkmenrah nodded slowly, the cold shiver in his spine returning. "A giant snake, yes. Why do you ask?" 

"How exactly... was he represented in your mythology?" 

"He's essentially the opposite of Ma'at." Sensing the blank expression on the knight's face, he continued. "He's the embodiment of chaos... He eats people hearts if they weigh more than the feather... He was in various battles with Ra and I regret asking this again but why?" 

There was a pause from the knight which somewhat unnerved Ahkmenrah. 

"So it's safe to say he's not someone you'd care to cross in this Underworld..." 

That certainly unnerved Ahkmenrah. He reluctantly walked to where the knight was standing and almost jumped out of his skin - which at that point would have been welcoming. 

 

"This is not a healthy way of coping with grief!" Czetumade yelled through the gates of the tomb of Ahkmenrah, ensuring he kept one eye on each of the jackal guards. 

"You went through the first one really quickly but you seem to be stuck on anger!" Evangeline - no, Amenti - added in a similar panicked tone. "Let me help, the next one's bargaining!" 

"Just fall to your knees and ask why it wasn't you!" 

Amenti huffed and went to sit on the edge of the empty sarcophagus. "Damn Pharaohs and their contageous god-like power." 

"Tell us the truth." Tilly demanded, hitting her newly acquired torch against the palm of her hand. 

"We don't know what you're talking about." Czetumade insisted. "We told you the truth." 

"Well considering the sun didn't rise in Egypt until two minutes after you arrived..." 

Silence. Unbelievable... silence. They wanted to cringe. 

"Damn it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... am dead chuffed with that volcano metaphor! Figurative language, whoo! \m/


End file.
